For a particular emotion, there is almost always a place which is actually immune to that emotion. For instance (and I say this in outrageous generality), one can't fall in love in a bathroom. Similarly one can't get bored, again in a bathroom. One can't feel alone at home, etc, etc you get the point. But there is one such emotion that comes without notice and comes at all places (may be not the bathroom). This particular emotion it self has a short life but it can have long lasting and mostly nasty consequences. Don't get mad at me, I'm about to get to the point and my point is ANGER.
Anger is a pretty open minded emotion, it accepts almost any reason as an invitation. For all I know, yesterday I was ready to throw my cell phone at my laptop (pretty much everything I have) just because none of them was charged. And knowing that I typed this article from my laptop, it clearly implies that I didn't. So how do I manage my anger? This is not an expert session, this is my design of anger management.
No, I don't start laughing when I am angry as that is an advance medical procedure meant only for actors playing doctors in a movie. What I do is a little time travel, not in the past searching for some happy place in memory, no. Instead I jump ahead. I pause for a moment and think of where I'll end up after I'll complete my great act of fury. Suppose I'm Bruce Banner and assume that I'm angry. (it kinda is a package deal isn't it?) Now instead of growing big and green- becoming the HULK, I'd just pause for a moment and think my way to the realiation that I wont be wearing any clothes after the display of my glorious powers. So I take the smart road and stick to my clothes.
Suppressing one's anger is never a part of this. The key to this is accepting what you feel. Some people do stupid stuff and blame it all on their state of anger. I on the other hand accept my anger/ irritation/ frustration and decide not try anything stupid. To help my cause and to make this brand of anger management more fun, I focus on REVENGE. Revenge is nothing to me but a solution, a solution to my anger. I think of ways to avenge my state of happiness. Mostly people would destroy the source which made them angry, I don't. I reciprocate the scenario by inducing the exact amount of anger (may be more - who cares) onto the source. If it has been done properly, I end up relaxed and restored and the thing/ person that made me angry ends up as the HULK i.e. naked. My anger goes away because of the restored balance in the universe and to top it all I feel happy as I win!
So if some one breaks your toy (I couldn't think of a more appropriate example), you should not complain and ask that person to bring back your toy. This will not help as he/she is not gonna do it (either out of inability or out of evilness) and you will end up hitting that person in the face(destroying the source of your anger). What you do is be cool - focus on the revenge. You look for his/her toy or something else of equal importance (not more!) and damage it (not beyond repair). This way the other person is now angry and you are not (if you did it properly). The key is to avoid any dramatic edge to your acts. More cooler you are more the other person is effected.
And you end the exchanges by being like really polite and adding- "Are you angry? Why?"
Of course this is not the most unknown and morally correct thing to do, but as I said- its my design. All I do is take the smart road and restore balance to the universe, but what all of us should do instead is take the high road and have some FORGIVENESS!
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